diff --git a/bot/plugins/useless.py b/bot/plugins/useless.py
index f72de41..5a57b75 100644
--- a/bot/plugins/useless.py
+++ b/bot/plugins/useless.py
@@ -21,6 +21,13 @@ ISPS = (
     'unity-media',
 )
 
+GENDERS = (
+    'male',
+    'female',
+    'shemale',
+    'hermaphrodite',
+)
+
 
 @irc3.plugin
 class Useless(DatabasePlugin):
@@ -332,6 +339,20 @@ class Useless(DatabasePlugin):
 
         return '{} is {}% of an asshole.'.format(nick, asshole_perc)
 
+    @command
+    def assume(self, mask: IrcString, target: IrcString, args: DocOptDict):
+        """Assumes the gender of a nick or yourself.
+
+        %%assume [<nick>]
+        """
+
+        nick = args.get('<nick>') or mask.nick
+
+        gender_ix = random.randint(0, len(GENDERS))
+        gender = GENDERS[gender_ix]
+
+        return 'Assuming {}''s gender... it''s a {}.'.format(nick, gender)
+
     # noinspection PyMethodMayBeStatic
     def _rainbow(self, i, char):
         return '\x03{0:02d}{1}'.format(RAINBOW[i % RAINBOW_LEN], char)