moar trigger

src/inc/trigger/coins.js

@@ -0,0 +1,58 @@
+const https = require("https");
+
+const api_url = ({ market, crypto, currency }) => `https://api.cryptowat.ch/markets/${market}/${crypto}${currency}/summary`;
+const currencies = {
+  usd: ({ val }) => `\$${val}`,
+  eur: ({ val }) => `${val}€`,
+  eth: ({ val }) => `${val}Ξ`,
+  btc: ({ val }) => `${val}฿`,
+  xmr: ({ val }) => `${val} xmr`
+};
+const markets = {
+  btc: "coinbase",
+  eth: "coinbase",
+  xmr: "bitfinex"
+};
+
+module.exports = bot => {
+  bot._trigger.set("coins", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)(btc|eth|xmr)/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      let args = e.message.trim().substr(1).toLowerCase().split(" ");
+      cryptowat_summary(args[0], markets[args[0]], args[0] !== "xmr" ? args[1] : "usd").then(
+        resolve => e.reply(resolve),
+        reject => e.reply(reject)
+      );
+    }
+  });
+};
+
+const cryptowat_summary = (crypto, market, currency) => {
+  return new Promise((resolve, reject) => {
+    if (!currency)
+      currency = "eur";
+    if (!Object.keys(currencies).includes(currency) || crypto === currency)
+      reject(`Can't convert or invalid currency: ${currency}`);
+    https.get([{ market: market, crypto: crypto, currency: currency }].map(api_url).join``, res => {
+      let content = "";
+      res.on('data', chunk => content += chunk.toString());
+      res.on('end', () => {
+        if(content.length === 0)
+          reject("No data received");
+        const result = JSON.parse(content).result;
+        const data = {
+          last: [{ val: result.price.last }].map(currencies[currency]).join``,
+          high: [{ val: result.price.high }].map(currencies[currency]).join``,
+          low: [{ val: result.price.low }].map(currencies[currency]).join``,
+          change: (result.price.change.percentage * 100).toFixed(2),
+          volume: result.volume
+        };
+
+        resolve(`Current: ${data.last} - High: ${data.high} - Low: ${data.low} - Change: ${data.change}% - Volume: ${data.volume}`);
+      });
+    });
+  });
+};

src/inc/trigger/drugs.js

@@ -0,0 +1,79 @@
+const strains = {
+  'sativa': [
+    'Sour Diesel', 'Green Crack', 'Jack Herer', 'Durban Poison',
+    'Lemon Haze', 'Strawberry Cough', 'Super Silver Haze',
+    'Alaskan Thunder Fuck', 'Super Lemon Haze', 'Amnesia Haze',
+    'Maui Wowie', 'Chocolope', 'Harlequin'
+  ],
+  'indica': [
+    'Granddaddy Purple', 'Bubba Kush', 'Northern Lights',
+    'Blue Cheese', 'Purple Kush', 'Blueberry', 'Grape Ape',
+    'Blackberry Kush', 'Master Kush', 'God\'s Gift',
+    'LA Confidential', 'Death Star', 'Purple Urkle',
+    'Afghan Kush', 'Skywalker', 'White Rhino', 'Hindu Kush'
+  ],
+  'hybrid': [
+    'Blue Dream', 'Girl Scout Cookies', 'OG Kush', 'White Widow',
+    'Gorilla Glue #4', 'Pineapple Express', 'Trainwreck',
+    'AK-47', 'Headband', 'Chemdawg', 'Cheese', 'Cherry Pie',
+    'Skywalker OG', 'Tahoe OG Kush', 'Lemon Kush',
+    'Platinum Girl Scout Cookies', 'Golden Goat', 'Agent Orange'
+  ]
+};
+const actions = {
+  'joint': [
+    ['passes', 'to'],
+    ['rolls', 'for'],
+    ['lights', 'for']
+  ],
+  'bong': [
+    ['passes', 'to'],
+    ['preps', 'for'],
+    ['lights', 'for']
+  ],
+  'vape': [
+    ['passes', 'to']
+  ],
+  'blunt': [
+    ['passes', 'to'],
+    ['rolls', 'for'],
+    ['lights', 'for']
+  ]
+};
+const strain_types = Object.keys(strains);
+const action_types = Object.keys(actions);
+
+module.exports = bot => {
+  bot._trigger.set("dope", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)dope/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
+      args.shift();
+      args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
+
+      const strain_type = strain_types[~~(Math.random() * strain_types.length)]
+        , consume_type = action_types[~~(Math.random() * action_types.length)]
+        , action = actions[consume_type][~~(Math.random() * actions[consume_type].length)]
+        , strain = strains[strain_type][~~(Math.random() * strains[strain_type].length)];
+
+      e.replyAction(`${action[0]} a ${consume_type} of the finest ${strain_type} "${strain}" ${action[1]} ${args[0]}`);
+    }
+  });
+
+  bot._trigger.set("meth", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)meth/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
+      args.shift();
+      args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
+
+      e.replyAction(`legt ${args[0]} eine dicke Line Meth \\________`);
+    }
+  });
+};

src/inc/trigger/kernel.js

@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+const https = require("https");
+
+const feed = "https://www.kernel.org/releases.json";
+
+module.exports = bot => {
+  bot._trigger.set("kernel", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)kernel/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      https.get(feed, res => {
+        let content = "";
+        res.on('data', chunk => content += chunk.toString());
+        res.on('end', () => {
+          const releases = JSON.parse(content).releases;
+          const out = [];
+          for (let entry in releases)
+            out.push(`${releases[entry].version} (${releases[entry].moniker}${releases[entry].iseol ? `, EOL` : ""})`);
+          e.reply(out.join(", "));
+        });
+      });
+
+    }
+  });
+};

src/inc/trigger/lachs.js

@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+module.exports = bot => {
+  bot._trigger.set("lachs", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)lachs/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      e.reply("öhöhöhöhöhöhö");
+    }
+  });
+};

src/inc/trigger/notschlachten.js

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+module.exports = bot => {
+  bot._trigger.set("notschlachten", {
+    call: /^(.|\/)notschlachten/i,
+    level: 0,
+    active: true,
+    clients: ["irc", "tg"],
+    f: e => {
+      let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
+      args.shift();
+      args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
+      e.replyAction(`notschlachtet ${args[0]} und entsorgt die Leiche im Biomüll`);
+    }
+  });
+};

src/inc/trigger/sandbox.js

@@ -9,8 +9,7 @@ module.exports = bot => {
     f: e => {
       const args = e.message.substring(3);
       const context = {
-        e: e,
-        b: bot
+        e: e
       };
       try {
         let output = vm.runInNewContext(args, context);