const replacements = [
  ["blöd", "plöd"], ["nein", "neim"], ["ein", "1"], ["bitte", "bidde"],
  ["Bitte", "Bidde"], ["ich", "i"], ["Ich", "i"], ["auch", "au"],
  ["noch", "no"], ["Hallo", "Halo"], ["hallo", "halo"], ["bin", "bims"],
  ["Bin", "Bims"], ["ist", "is"], ["Ist", "Is"], ["danke", "dangge"],
  ["Danke", "Dangge"], ["t", "dd"], ["mm", "m"], ["n", "m"],
  ["mir", "mi"], ["Mir", "Mi"], ["die", "di"], ["Die", "Di"],
  ["Immer", "Imer"], ["immer", "imer"], ["Hab", "Han"], ["hab", "han"]
];

export function schmuser(text) {
  replacements.forEach(filter => {
    let replaceFrom = new RegExp(filter[0], 'gm')
      , replaceTo = filter[1];
    text = text.replace(replaceFrom, replaceTo);
  });
  return text;
}