import sql from "../sql.js"; const data = { yiff: [], kill_templates: [], kill_parts: {}, genders: [], woahs: [], slap: [] }; Object.keys(data).forEach(cur => { sql.exec("select `data` from `useless` where `trigger` = ? limit 1", [cur]) .then(rows => { data[cur] = JSON.parse(rows[0].data); }); }); module.exports = bot => { bot._trigger.set("kiss", { call: /^(\.|\/)kiss/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.reply(`(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ" [color=red]。。・゜゜・。。・゜❤[/color] [b]${args.join(" ").trim()}[/b] [color=red]❤[/color]`); } }); bot._trigger.set("hug", { call: /^(\.|\/)hug/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.reply(`[color=red]♡❤♡♥[/color] [b]${args.join(" ").trim()}[/b] [color=red]♥♡❤♡♥[/color]`); } }); bot._trigger.set("kill", { call: /^(\.|\/)kill/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(data.kill_templates[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_templates.length)] .replace("{user}", `[b]${args[0]}[/b]`) .replace("{limbs}", data.kill_parts.limbs[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.limbs.length)]) .replace("{gun}", data.kill_parts.gun[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.gun.length)]) .replace("{weapon_stab}", data.kill_parts.weapon_stab[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_stab.length)]) .replace("{weapon_slice}", data.kill_parts.weapon_slice[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_slice.length)]) .replace("{weapon_crush}", data.kill_parts.weapon_crush[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_crush.length)]) .replace("{weapon_explosive}", data.kill_parts.weapon_explosive[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_explosive.length)]) .replace("{tall_thing}", data.kill_parts.tall_thing[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.tall_thing.length)]) .replace("{spiked_thing}", data.kill_parts.spiked_thing[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.spiked_thing.length)]) .replace("{bomb}", data.kill_parts.bomb[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.bomb.length)]) ); } }); bot._trigger.set("yiff", { call: /^(\.|\/)yiff/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(data.yiff[~~(Math.random() * data.yiff.length)] .split("{user}").join(`[b]${args[0]}[/b]`) .split("{yiffer}").join(`[b]${e.user.nick}[/b]`) .split("{nick}").join(`[b]${e.self.me.nickname}[/b]`) ); } }); bot._trigger.set("bier", { call: /^(\.|\/)bier/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(`schenkt ein kühles Blondes an [b]${args[0]}[/b] aus.`); } }); bot._trigger.set("fucken", { call: /^(\.|\/)fucken/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(`fuckt [b]${args[0]}[/b] und tötet [b]${args[0]}[/b] anschließend.`); } }); bot._trigger.set("hack", { call: /^(\.|\/)hack/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.reply(`hacking ${args[0]}...`); } }); bot._trigger.set("spit", { call: /^(\.|\/)spit/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(`spits on [b]${args[0]}[/b] like a dirty whore.`); } }); bot._trigger.set("assume", { call: /^(\.|\/)assume/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.reply(`Assuming [b]${args[0]}'s[/b] gender... it's a ${data.genders[~~(Math.random() * data.genders.length)]}.`); } }); bot._trigger.set("jn", { call: /^(\.|\/)jn/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: [b]${~~(Math.random() * 2) ? "Ja" : "Nein"}[/b]`); } }); bot._trigger.set("choose", { call: /^(\.|\/)choose .*/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { const args = e.message.substring(8).trim().split(","); if (args.length < 2) return e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: Ob du behindert bist?`); e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: ${args[~~(Math.random() * args.length)].trim()}`); } }); bot._trigger.set("huehuehue", { call: /^huehuehue$/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { e.reply("huehuehue"); } }); bot._trigger.set("woah", { call: /woah/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { if (~~(Math.random() * 4)) e.reply(data.woahs[~~(Math.random() * data.woahs.length)]); } }); bot._trigger.set("REEE", { call: /reee+$/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { e.reply("R".padEnd(~~(Math.random() * 20 + 10), "E")); } }); bot._trigger.set("meme", { call: /^(\.|\/)meme .*/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { const args = e.message.trim().substring(6).split("/"); //if(args.length < 3) return e.reply("[WIP] too few arguments: .meme [meme] / [line 1] / [line 2]"); } }); bot._trigger.set("slap", { call: /^(\.|\/)slap/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { let args = e.message.trim().split(" "); args.shift(); args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0]; e.replyAction(data.slap[~~(Math.random() * data.slap.length)] .replace("{user}", `[b]${args[0]}[/b]`) ); } }); bot._trigger.set("fw", { call: /^(\.|\/)fw .*/i, level: 0, active: true, clients: ["irc", "tg"], f: e => { const args = e.message.substring(4).trim(); e.reply(args.toUpperCase().split``.map(c => String.fromCharCode(65312 + (c.charCodeAt(0) - 64))).join``); } }); };