246 lines
7.5 KiB
JavaScript
246 lines
7.5 KiB
JavaScript
import sql from "../sql.js";
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const data = {
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yiff: [],
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kill_templates: [],
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kill_parts: {},
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genders: [],
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woahs: [],
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slap: []
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};
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Object.keys(data).forEach(cur => {
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sql.exec("select `data` from `useless` where `trigger` = ? limit 1", [cur])
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.then(rows => {
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data[cur] = JSON.parse(rows[0].data);
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});
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});
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module.exports = bot => {
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bot._trigger.set("kiss", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)kiss/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.reply(`(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ" [color=red]。。・゜゜・。。・゜❤[/color] [b]${args.join(" ").trim()}[/b] [color=red]❤[/color]`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("hug", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)hug/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.reply(`[color=red]♡❤♡♥[/color] [b]${args.join(" ").trim()}[/b] [color=red]♥♡❤♡♥[/color]`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("kill", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)kill/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(data.kill_templates[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_templates.length)]
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.replace("{user}", `[b]${args[0]}[/b]`)
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.replace("{limbs}", data.kill_parts.limbs[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.limbs.length)])
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.replace("{gun}", data.kill_parts.gun[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.gun.length)])
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.replace("{weapon_stab}", data.kill_parts.weapon_stab[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_stab.length)])
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.replace("{weapon_slice}", data.kill_parts.weapon_slice[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_slice.length)])
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.replace("{weapon_crush}", data.kill_parts.weapon_crush[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_crush.length)])
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.replace("{weapon_explosive}", data.kill_parts.weapon_explosive[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.weapon_explosive.length)])
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.replace("{tall_thing}", data.kill_parts.tall_thing[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.tall_thing.length)])
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.replace("{spiked_thing}", data.kill_parts.spiked_thing[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.spiked_thing.length)])
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.replace("{bomb}", data.kill_parts.bomb[~~(Math.random() * data.kill_parts.bomb.length)])
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);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("yiff", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)yiff/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(data.yiff[~~(Math.random() * data.yiff.length)]
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.split("{user}").join(`[b]${args[0]}[/b]`)
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.split("{yiffer}").join(`[b]${e.user.nick}[/b]`)
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.split("{nick}").join(`[b]${e.self.me.nickname}[/b]`)
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);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("bier", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)bier/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(`schenkt ein kühles Blondes an [b]${args[0]}[/b] aus.`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("fucken", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)fucken/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(`fuckt [b]${args[0]}[/b] und tötet [b]${args[0]}[/b] anschließend.`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("hack", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)hack/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.reply(`hacking ${args[0]}...`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("spit", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)spit/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(`spits on [b]${args[0]}[/b] like a dirty whore.`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("assume", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)assume/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.reply(`Assuming [b]${args[0]}'s[/b] gender... it's a ${data.genders[~~(Math.random() * data.genders.length)]}.`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("jn", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)jn/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: [b]${~~(Math.random() * 2) ? "Ja" : "Nein"}[/b]`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("choose", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)choose .*/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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const args = e.message.substring(8).trim().split(",");
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if (args.length < 2)
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return e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: Ob du behindert bist?`);
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e.reply(`${e.user.nick}: ${args[~~(Math.random() * args.length)].trim()}`);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("huehuehue", {
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call: /^huehuehue$/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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e.reply("huehuehue");
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("woah", {
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call: /woah/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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if (~~(Math.random() * 4))
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e.reply(data.woahs[~~(Math.random() * data.woahs.length)]);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("REEE", {
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call: /reee+$/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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e.reply("R".padEnd(~~(Math.random() * 20 + 10), "E"));
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("meme", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)meme .*/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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const args = e.message.trim().substring(6).split("/");
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//if(args.length < 3)
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return e.reply("[WIP] too few arguments: .meme [meme] / [line 1] / [line 2]");
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("slap", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)slap/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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let args = e.message.trim().split(" ");
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args.shift();
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args[0] = (args[0] == String.empty || typeof args[0] === "undefined" || args[0] == "") ? e.user.nick : args[0];
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e.replyAction(data.slap[~~(Math.random() * data.slap.length)]
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.replace("{user}", `[b]${args[0]}[/b]`)
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);
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}
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});
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bot._trigger.set("fw", {
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call: /^(\.|\/)fw .*/i,
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level: 0,
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active: true,
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clients: ["irc", "tg"],
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f: e => {
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const args = e.message.substring(4).trim();
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e.reply(args.toUpperCase().split``.map(c => String.fromCharCode(65312 + (c.charCodeAt(0) - 64))).join``);
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}
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});
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}; |