Spurdomod

src/inc/clients/tg.js

@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 import { logger } from "../log.js";
 import { getLevel } from "../admin.js";
+import { spurdo } from "../spurdo.js";
 
 const tgapi = require("node-telegram-bot-api")
   , EventEmitter = require("events").EventEmitter
@@ -15,7 +16,11 @@ export class tg {
 
     this.server = {
       channel: new Map(),
-      user: new Map()
+      user: new Map(),
+      me: {
+        nickname: "Uwe"
+      },
+      spurdo: false
     };
 
     this.client.on("message", msg => {
@@ -53,11 +58,7 @@ export class tg {
           account: tmp.from.id.toString()
         })
       },
-      self: {
-        me: {
-          nickname: "Uwe"
-        }
-      },
+      self: this.server,
       message: tmp.text,
       time: tmp.date,
       raw: tmp,
@@ -68,6 +69,8 @@ export class tg {
     };
   }
   format(msg) {
+    if(this.server.spurdo)
+      msg = spurdo(msg);
     return msg.toString()
       .replace("<", "&lt;")
       .replace(">", "&gt;")

src/inc/spurdo.js

@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+const ebinFaces = [
+  ':D', ':DD', ':DDD', ':-D',
+  'XD', 'XXD', 'XDD', 'XXDD'
+];
+const replacements = [
+  ['wh', 'w'], ['th', 'd'], ['af', 'ab'], ['ap', 'ab'],
+  ['ca', 'ga'], ['ck', 'gg'], ['co', 'go'], ['ev', 'eb'],
+  ['ex', 'egz'], ['et', 'ed'], ['iv', 'ib'], ['it', 'id'],
+  ['ke', 'ge'], ['nt', 'nd'], ['op', 'ob'], ['ot', 'od'],
+  ['po', 'bo'], ['pe', 'be'], ['pi', 'bi'], ['up', 'ub'],
+  ['va', 'ba'], ['ck', 'gg'], ['cr', 'gr'], ['kn', 'gn'],
+  ['lt', 'ld'], ['mm', 'm'], ['nt', 'dn'], ['pr', 'br'],
+  ['ts', 'dz'], ['tr', 'dr'], ['bs', 'bz'], ['ds', 'dz'],
+  ['es', 'es'], ['fs', 'fz'], ['gs', 'gz'], [' is', ' iz'],
+  ['ls', 'lz'], ['ms', 'mz'], ['ns', 'nz'], ['rs', 'rz'],
+  ['ss', 'sz'], ['ts', 'tz'], ['us', 'uz'], ['ws', 'wz'],
+  ['ys', 'yz'], ['alk', 'olk'], ['ing', 'ign'], ['ic', 'ig'],
+  ['ng', 'nk'], ['kek', 'geg'], ['epic', 'ebin'], ['some', 'sum'],
+  ['meme', 'maymay']
+];
+
+export function spurdo(text) {
+  text = text.toLowerCase();
+  replacements.forEach(filter => {
+    let replaceFrom = new RegExp(filter[0], 'gm')
+      , replaceTo = filter[1];
+    text = text.replace(replaceFrom, replaceTo);
+  });
+  while (text.match(/\.|,(?=\s|$)/m))
+    text = text.replace(/\.|,(?=\s|$)/m, ' ' + ebinFaces[~~(Math.random() * ebinFaces.length)]);
+  return text;
+}